Finding Clarity In Chaos

The last month has been a roller coaster ride for me. It started out with being super frustrated with my 5 year old puppy Flash. (Yes I said 5 year old) puppy. For some reason he figured he had to mark his territory in the house. I did some research and got advice from the internet and found that I had to neutralize Honey’s scent in the house. Currently I am working on that and it has worked the last couple of days as well as me staying vigilant or times on his signals.

In addition I am walking both dogs at least four times a day, so my exercise routine has picked up. Having two dogs has made me much more organized and I have a morning routine (which is hard when you are retired), I still work at Real Estate, but mostly from home, so there’s no real sense of urgency. Let me add here that I have always been dis-organized and always flown by the seat of my pants. Well you can’t do that when you have animals. You have to make a plan. You have responsibilities to your pets. Which is kinda nice. All of this organization is helping me think ahead more often. My mind is more clear, I am in the moment. And right now, in this moment, my mind is asking what in the name of all that is holy was I thinking? Getting another dog…..

In the last eight years I have noticed little by little that I am making progress toward getting my life back together. Is it odd it is taking so long? I don’t think so. There is no set time when it comes to how we grieve. I’m just happy it is happening.

I find myself laughing more than crying now, remembering the good times and trying to cut myself some slack for the bad. I enjoy visiting Ludington and going to Dairy Queen, I am back at the gym again running on the treadmill, (in the right direction) lol. But mostly trying to be a good person and enjoying my life as it is right now. It’s a challenge. But like I said, I am making headway.

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