I am fully convinced that God puts us where we need to be all the time. I have been pissing and moaning this entire time in Atlanta. The traffic, the people, the expense, among other things. On the brighter side, I have spent more time with my Grand Kids in six months than I did the whole time I lived in Allegan, MI. The restaurants here are great, and I get treated to dinners and lunches and brunches a lot by my Family. And I missed the worst Winter Michigan has seen in fifty years.
Most of you know that I have been feeling like this move was a mistake on my part. But had I not come down here I would be up north kicking myself for not going. So let’s call it a learning experience. Yes, right…….an expensive learning experience, but I cannot let that stand in my way. Not now, not when I am trying to re-invent myself. Sounds like a big job, but it must be done, because my life has changed and I am no longer Sam Bond’s wife. I am his widow. A moniker I could due without, but it is what it is. I need to look ahead and try to imagine my life without my husband, because up to now I have just been reacting to his death. I must consciously plan a life without him. He would be the first one to tell me this, so I will go with it.
Today I woke up and the birds were singing and the sun was shining and I felt better than I have in a while, especially since the time change. When I took the dogs out, I realized it was going to be really warm so I got myself around to walk. I felt like taking a different route and I think that changed my attitude also. As I was walking it dawned on me that I was exactly where I belonged today. That this past six months HAD been a learning experience. Once again I had to go through this to appreciate everyone and everything in my life and exactly where I fit into what had temporarily been a puzzle to me. I feel like the darkness is starting to lift, and I must make it a point to keep all this in mind and keep moving forward with my new life.
So boys and girls I am on my way back to Kalamazoo, MI, where the majority of my family and friends reside. Where I am most comfortable, where my roots are, where my heart is. It is where I will spend the majority of my time, and as it stands now, I am welcome to visit the kids in Atlanta anytime I would like and stay with them. To me that is the best of both worlds.
Look out Kalamazoo, T Bond is coming home!
Have any of you experienced a change of heart when making a major decision in your life after losing a loved one?
3 thoughts on “Oh What A Beautiful Morning”
Theresa, you are s smart and articulate and wise. It sounds like you have made the decision that is best for you and You should never second guess the route you took to get there. There is usually a silver lining to what life throws at us as I'm sure you know.
Moving is never easy or cheap or fun but I know you will handle it with your usual grace and sense of humor. Besides, how else do we get rid of our stuff?
Kalamazoo is lucky to get you.
Much love, Janet
Thanks Janet, your support means a lot to me.
Love that you are being consistent in writing and posting, even tho this is an older post. Keep on keeping on.