I am fully convinced that God puts us where we need to be all the time. I have been pissing and moaning this entire time in Atlanta. The traffic, the people, the expense, among other things. On the brighter side, I have spent more time with my Grand Kids in six months than I did the whole time I lived in Allegan, MI. The restaurants here are great, and I get treated to dinners and lunches and brunches a lot by my Family. And I missed the worst Winter Michigan has seen in fifty years.
Most of you know that I have been feeling like this move was a mistake on my part. But had I not come down here I would be up north kicking myself for not going. So let’s call it a learning experience. Yes, right…….an expensive learning experience, but I cannot let that stand in my way. Not now, not when I am trying to re-invent myself. Sounds like a big job, but it must be done, because my life has changed and I am no longer Sam Bond’s wife. I am his widow. A moniker I could due without, but it is what it is. I need to look ahead and try to imagine my life without my husband, because up to now I have just been reacting to his death. I must consciously plan a life without him. He would be the first one to tell me this, so I will go with it.
Today I woke up and the birds were singing and the sun was shining and I felt better than I have in a while, especially since the time change. When I took the dogs out, I realized it was going to be really warm so I got myself around to walk. I felt like taking a different route and I think that changed my attitude also. As I was walking it dawned on me that I was exactly where I belonged today. That this past six months HAD been a learning experience. Once again I had to go through this to appreciate everyone and everything in my life and exactly where I fit into what had temporarily been a puzzle to me. I feel like the darkness is starting to lift, and I must make it a point to keep all this in mind and keep moving forward with my new life.
So boys and girls I am on my way back to Kalamazoo, MI, where the majority of my family and friends reside. Where I am most comfortable, where my roots are, where my heart is. It is where I will spend the majority of my time, and as it stands now, I am welcome to visit the kids in Atlanta anytime I would like and stay with them. To me that is the best of both worlds.
Look out Kalamazoo, T Bond is coming home!
Have any of you experienced a change of heart when making a major decision in your life after losing a loved one?